We had our parent/teacher conferences last week. It’s always a funny thing being on the parent side. I have been on the teacher side MANY times. I’ve brought great news and difficult news to parents. I’ve made recommendations that were difficult to swallow. I’ve had parents hate me for the year because they thought my expectations of the child were too high, or they disagreed with my observations. I tried my best to be tactful but honest with parents about my students in school. I wanted to look out for their emotional well-being as well as their academic progress.
As the parent, you are just sitting there, on your seat, helpless, waiting for the news of your child. I’ve been through this a few times, but it doesn’t get easier. I am not a parent that thinks my kids are perfect and amazing. Especially S, since we’ve been through many things with her in her short life, I see her clearly. Her strengths and weaknesses. I think I see her just honestly. I’m not easily surprised of news of her. Still, when I hear about S’s difficulties, I’m still very sensitive towards her. I think I would be of M, too. But she is young. She doesn’t have conferences at her young age. She presents different challenges in school for us. Her problems, while intense and disturbing in their own right, are very different from those that we face with S. It’s not easier for her or worse, it’s just very different. Since M is still so young, we will have to see how things keep unfolding. S is still young, but as an elementary student, all these academics and expectations, while easy going, are growing and intensifying. I am scared what will be coming at us each year.
We couldn’t have asked for a better conference from S’s teacher. She was inviting and sweet. She was upbeat about S’s strengths and held a positive tone with where she still needs work. The resource room teacher was also there. Together, they put S in the same light that we see her in. I found that encouraging. They know my daughter. The things that are hard for S this year will probably be hard for her for years to come. She has impulse control issues, especially when it comes to speaking. She just blurts things out when she does. During a story, a conversation, or a quiet work time, she just starts jammering away. Those are things that we work on, too. But that’s going to take awhile for her to control. Raising her hand and waiting to be called on, definitely difficult.
Her teacher showed us some evidence of S’s work from writer’s workshop. I was impressed. I knew S can write, but she really did well with her writer’s workshop. A sentence or 2. Words spelled correctly. punctuation even! It was endearing to see the picture of her and her dad and sister out on the canoes when I was away one weekend. Or a picture of the 3 of them at the Toy Story 3D movie when I was away another weekend. There is a lot going on up in her head, and not as many ways for it to all come out. We had no idea she even felt anything about the movie. She had been so nonchalant. Overall, it seems that S is thriving, and comfortable and doing well.
We got to meet her speech teacher at school, too. Another lovely woman. Again, in these few months, she has nailed down S’s speech issues. In the category of speech, there are a myriad of issues. Her fluency of speech, her pragmatic language, her difficulty with the give and take of a conversation, grammar, answering WH questions (who, what, why, where, when…why and when are really hard for her). These are just the immediate ones. Laid out, it made me so glad to have kept on the private outside speech with Step. So many areas to conquer, so little time.
Anyway, all in all, my husband and I are happy about the way the conferences went. We know the challenges that lie ahead this year and beyond. We also know that S is happy and trying. She has teachers around her that get her, understand her and how she learns. We have outside therapists working with the teachers and school therapists for deeper insight and to be able to do things in her private sessions 1-1 that can’t be done in school. We have a system of people all working with S, people that genuinely like and enjoy her and want to see her doing well. That has to be enough, for now.
