summer trips

What’s a summer without a little bit of travel?  It doesn’t have to be far trips or overnights.  But it does need to be a chance to do something different from the day to day.  Just about anything can be an adventure.  A trip to a museum, a new park, the beach, the boardwalk, a waterpark, a new pool.   Or you can hop on a plane or train or car and really go places.  It’s up to you.

I sat through a lecture a long time ago, and the details of the whole speech and who gave it are lost to me.  But there was one very important point he made, and I never forgot it.  Kids need different experiences to build upon.  Each of those experiences opens the child up to new discovery and feelings.  That’s how a child grows.  A child who only does the same things and doesn’t have outside experiences will not have a worldly growth and appreciation for new or adventure.  On one hand, I can’t say that would be a universal statement.  However, for the most part, I do think it’s true for many to a degree.

My cousin got married in June in NYC.  We decided to get a hotel room for a night so we didn’t have to trek back to NJ in the middle of the night.  If you have ever been to NYC, you’ll know that everything is small, tight, and crowded.   Our hotel room was no different.  But the girls were ecstatic.  They have been in the city many times, but not likes this.  They enjoyed just walking around, seeing the lights.  I took M on the subway to a place on the Upper West side to get her hair done for the wedding  (she was the flower girl).  We caught a cab on the way back.  These are all normal things people in NYC do.  But to them, what an experience!  I liked seeing this side of them.

The hotel stay used to freak S out a little bit, even if she was excited.  Travel, in general, while she has been good, is sometimes difficult.  She liked her own things.  She was uncomfortable in new rooms.  There were always tears.  Sometimes when we left our house.  Almost always when we had to leave to come back home.  Now, she loves hotels.  I’ve learned we have to bring a couple of familiar things, and a night light certainly helps.  We are all able to stay in one room for an overnight without waking each other up every hour.  That helps, too.

We went to my parents home in Syracuse for the 4th of July.  Both girls always have fun there.  This year, we also went to a friend’s lake house on the finger lakes.  It was a huge party.  Tons of people, tons of kids, swimming, a bounce house, dinner, fireworks, everything.  It was interesting to see S and M mix it up with the kids of people I grew up with.  Some clicked, some didn’t.  But they both tried.  Most of these kids already knew each other from school or being family or friends.  But they all accepted my 2.  M definitely put herself in the groove more than S, but S tried, too.  She certainly participated in everything.  S has acclimated to the room she sleeps in at my parents home.  She looks forward to sleeping there, and we rarely see tears at bedtime or morning.

In August, my husband had to be in Toronto for a few days for work.  He has been talking for a year now about having the family go up when he has to work and see Toronto.  He couldn’t say enough things about it.  It happened to work out that he had to go up on a Wednesday and would be done by Friday.  So I flew up with the girls on Friday to meet him.   We stayed until Sunday.  The girls had the time of their lives.

Toronto is a very family friendly city.  There is so much to do there, so much to explore.  We definitely wore them out.  There was no question they were exhausted.  Yet, in a packed weekend, they experienced so much.  The weather was great, so walking around the city, finding restaurants to eat at, walking the underground malls, swimming at the hotel pool, it was so easy.  We took a day to take the ferry to the Toronto Islands, and spent the afternoon playing there.  At dinner time, we took the ferry back, and walked to the CN Tower.  A huge needle point tower.  At the top was a restaurant that rotated for a circular view-  the 360.  A great and expensive dinner.   Dinner included a special express line to the elevators.  The regular line was about 60-90 min long.  Then after dinner we could go to the observation deck 1 floor below.  Lots of views, including the glass bottom floor.  SCARY for my husband and I.  Dizzying even.  Not so much for the kids.  They were lying down on their bellies with the faces to the glass.  I know that’s not really sanitary and totally disgusting, but we were fighting off the dizzy spells.  We’ll let the kids do whatever while we get our bearings.  An express ride down the elevator led straight to the gift shop-also very family friendly, but not at family friendly costs.

A ride on the subway led us to Toronto’s Korea town for dinner on our last night.  After eating pizza and pasta and sandwiches, Korean food was a welcome treat for us all.  In the corner of the room was a big screen TV, playing Korea’s top 20 pop music performances.  In a language they are far from fluent in, M and S were mesmorized.  We were asked to download some of those songs when we got home.  Funny.  We took the light rail back, and headed to the airport.  The kids say that was their best hotel stay ever.  And love their pink CN Tower shirts and caps.

We spent a week at Bethany Beach, DE with a couple of families.  My kids love the beach, and are well accustomed to spending many hours out there.  I wasn’t worried about them loving it.  But sharing a house with friends is always something we look forward to, but worry a little about to.  I never know how my kids will react sharing rooms, toys, etc.  They were very comfortable with these kids, so I worried less.  Honestly, couldn’t have asked them to do any better.  The kids got along amazingly.  A couple of little tiffs, but really, in the span of the week. nothing.  S and M shared a room, with S on a top bunk.  I always wondered how she would be up there, especially when she sleep walks.  S loved it, and M enjoyed being on the bottom bunk.  They made it work well for themselves.  And both knew without us saying not to come and wake us up until 7am!

Finally, we spent a day in NYC with a friend that just moved in.  We parked in Jersey City, and took the ferry across the Hudson River to Battery Park.  The girls were so excited about these transportation excursions.  They played in a playground, and rode their razors around lower Manhattan.  My husband got out of work early, and he walked out to meet us.  It was a pleasant day, they were riding with friends, and they got a little taste of city life before we went back to suburban life at night.

I feel like we gave the girls a good fill this year of a lot of different kinds of experiences, and I would like to think they got a lot out of each of them.  If I opened any doors in their minds, and gave them a little bit of newness (is that a word?), then I feel we more than did our part this summer in creating a little more flexibility, even if for just a little while.

follow up day #2

So I didn’t get much sleep last night with my mind sort of playing through the days events.  I went through a wave of emotions:  anger, heartbreak, depression, sad, disgusted, fear.  And then I pulled it together to ask, what do we do from here?  What positives can I take from these incidents?

Today, I spent the day gathering all the information I could from others and giving information to others.

I didn’t hear from the principal’s office about a meeting.  So at 11am, when I got home, I made another call.  I don’t want to harass anyone, but I’m not going away.  I left a message with the secretary, who wanted to know which child I was calling about, if it was a classroom or bus issue, and what the problem was.  I could give some of that info, but you better believe I’m not going to go into it in a message over the phone!  Then she said sweetly that she would give my information to the principal, and they would get back to me.  At the time, I wondered why she couldn’t just open up the outlook calendar and find a time to meet.  I really want my husband to go in with me on this.  He has been working from home all week, and this would be the perfect week for it.  The only drawback is that he has a horrible black eye from a fall he took last week.  I’m not sure how that looks going into a school meeting with a black eye.  Not the look I was thinking for us.

Talking with a friend of mine, she asked me about S’s social worker/case manager.  Maybe we should involved her.  Our s.w. this year is the same as S’s preschool one.  She’s a nice woman.  Absolutely useless.  Not helpful in the least.  Nothing gets done.  She’s terrible about responding back to you.  Over the course of 6 weeks in late Sept through Oct, I left her 3 emails, 2 voice messages.  Nothing.  And finally she answered the last one where I said PLEASE CONFIRM receipt. and flagged it with the read notifier.  She said she never received any of those messages.  ANYWAY, I called her and went to meet her.  At the very least, I needed to put it on record and have this be part of S’s file.  Our s.w. was very receptive to our story, took it all down, and started brainstorming possible plans.  She said first and foremost, she was going to call my principal.  She should have gotten called about S from the school and was disturbed that my coming in was the first she heard.  I asked the s.w. if maybe the principal didn’t learn from it yet.  S’s s.w. responded, “No, those kids should not have gotten a time out.  They should have gone to the office and the parents should have been called.  Even if that didn’t happen yesterday, the teachers should have notified the principal, and I should have been called.”  I kind of liked it.  I felt supported somehow.  She started outlining sensitivity seminars to be scheduled for the class and teachers, anti-bullying skits, etc.  Helpful, but I think the whole grade could benefit from it at this point!  She said she would get back to me.

I made an appt to talk to S’s speech therapist (SLP), Step.  And what a wonderful fountain of support and information she is.  She started with things and strategies to help S.  Even how I have playdates with her, she came up with some suggestions to help S bond with her classmates.  Step gave helpful advice on dealing with the school and what we need to be looking for.  She thought that S needed extra support during lunch/recess when things are not as structured.  S is not in a protective environment.  She has social challenges and needs support verbally and emotionally to help navigate her through those times.  I thought it was a wonderful way to describe it to someone else.  Then she asked me if I was comfortable calling the parents of the kids that have been involved with S.  Hmmmm…..Even putting it in a way that would be asking the parent for help, and saying it all constructively…hmmmmm…..Can I call someone I’ve met once or don’t know and try to have this conversation?  Awkward, no?  Is it in S’s best interest for me to do that?  Step said the parents may be very receptive or not.  This one, I was unsure about doing.  My husband and I went back and forth on this one.  In fact, in his loving, analytical way, he drew me a diagram on the pros and cons of both sides to it.

S went on a wonderful playdate with a friend of hers from Kindergarten.  The mom knew what we were dealing with.  Actually the 2 kids from the other class are in her daughter’s class.  So she asked me yesterday if she could take S afterschool.  S was so excited.  And they live next to the park, and spent the afternoon eating leftover Halloween candy and playing in the park.  This freed up our afternoon to begin to unravel from the hurricane of emotions that have hit here.

After I picked S up, the principal called me at home.  She had gotten the message from S’s s.w. and wanted me to understand that it was not being taken lightly.  She wanted more details of our story and account.  She talked to the aide that stepped in yesterday at the cafeteria as well as talking to S’s teacher about the bathroom incidents.  She retraced the steps that each took and who they talked to.  She plans to talk to the 2 kids’ teacher tomorrow and have the teacher talk to those kids.  We are meeting tomorrow, with my husband and S’s teacher. all together.  She sounds like she is gathering all her information she needs for our meeting tomorrow.  But she also told me that the best way to come tomorrow is calm and with a collective head.  I’m sorry.  Was I hysterical or yelling or crying or did I raise my voice?  I swear that I didn’t do any of those things.  A very condescending tone.  Anyway, I pushed past that.  We will see what we see tomorrow.

I have to go into school in the morning because it is parent visitation day at the school.  I kind of am excited to go see what they do.  But I wish some time had passed since all this happened.  To go in, and see the kids that started this, and see them with their parents, doesn’t sit well.  I have to put on my smile and be polite.  I can, but it’s not easy while my own emotions are still raw.  We’ll go.

I’m heartbroken overall.  And I don’t think that I can really allow myself those emotions right now because I have to be strong and step forward to be my daughter’s advocate.  I already find myself not wanting to be as social with others here because it’s on my mind, but I don’t want to talk about it too much with people I see all the time.  I’m on the verge of crying with the few people that I talk to.  But I don’t want these feelings.  I know even if they don’t know exactly, the kids can sense I’m tense.  They see the amount of calls and long talks I’m having.  I’m so serious all of a sudden all of the time.  We’ve all been stripped of our innocence a little here.  But none of this is about me or my husband.  It’s about S.  It’s about making sure she’s growing, and learning, and thriving, and making friends, and being safe.  Physically.  Emotionally.  I pray that my happy girl remains a happy girl and we get through this and deal with this effectively.  Will let you know what happens next!

communication woes

So, I posted last week about the S’s resource teacher.  That drama continues.  2 emails and a letter hand delivered to the office, and nothing.  That is until yesterday.  I got a note home from S’s teacher that the resource teacher was going to call me the next day during her lunch hour.  Apparently her district email still is not working.  They had a meeting the two of them yesterday and was told she would call me today.

That’s still a week that you have my letter, and she chose still not to communicate.  She doesn’t have a home email address? really?  It’s not that it’s impossible.  Of course it is.  Not everyone is up to speed.  But I don’t see how you can not have an email address in this day and age, especially if you are working.  And if the district one is not working, wouldn’t she think to contact me via her home email address just to let me know that she got my note after I wrote that I tried to email her twice?  fishy fishy.  But she had to have her meeting FIRST with the general ed teacher.  hmmm….

Bottom line, she didn’t call today.  Probably something came up.  But this things drags on.

4 emails and 3 phone messages later, the case manager has FINALLY acknowledged me.  Apologizing that she never got any of my messages when I sent her yet another email, and asked her to confirm that she got it.  Really?  You didn’t get 7 messages from me over the course of 6 weeks? not a one?  that one I’m very skeptical on.  She said she would be more than happy to meet with me if I gave her times when I’m available.  I said EVERYDAY this week and next 12:30-2:30pm.  still waiting to hear back from her.

The OT finally got back to me.  Actually no, I called the number she left me in a note that said, “For any concerns or questions, please feel free to call me.  I’m available M-F during school hours at this number.”

I had assumed it was a school number.  When I looked at it last week, I realized it wasn’t.   Probably a cell phone number.  I thought it would go to voicemail.  So I called at around 10am.  She answered.  I introduced myself, and she said, “Oh, I’ve been meaning to call you.”  sure you have.  but she snapped at me.  ”I’m TEACHING.  I can’t talk when I’m teaching.”  Oh.  well, didn’t this just get my blood flowing.  You’d be proud.  I was very cool and polite.  ”Oh, I’m sorry.  I actually didn’t think you would answer.  I expected to leave a message on your voicemail.  I was just following the instructions about days and times to call in your letter to me.”  She said she would call back.

Well, SHE apologized when she called back a few hours later, but that she can’t take personal calls when she is teaching.  my response?  ”I understand completely.  But I’m not a personal call, mine was professional.  But you must have thought it was personal.  But that’s not really any of my business.  Moving right along…”  Yes, I was a little bitchy but polite…sort of.  I don’t take well to doing what you tell me to do, and getting reprimanded for it.  I don’t take to being belittled or chided for following the directions.  She went back to I was teaching.  So I interrupted her.  ”Yes.  You were.  This is when you said you were available.  I thought it strange, but again, I thought I was going to leave you a voice message.  You didn’t have to answer your phone.  That part is not my responsibility.  Can we please talk about S now that we’ve cleared up the phone status?”

I was trying to get her to FOCUS.  but she kept beating this horse.  I had enough.  She finally got the message.  And you know what?  The rest of the conversation went just fine, and we were able to make some modifications for other things that S needed.

I shake my head at the system.  I shake my head for the level of professionalism for some people.  How do you get away with that?

conquering the dentist

I feel like I write this post every 6 months after the kids go to the dentist.  S has never liked the dentist.  And the fact that we go twice a year nearly knocks her socks right off her.  She used to whimper whenever we drove by the dentist office.  I have given that responsibility to my husband.  S used to yell and kick and scream so bad.  I wasn’t physically strong enough to hold her.  Definitely not emotionally strong enough.

I can make the appointment.  I can take M.  She’s a dream.  They give her sunglasses, flip on the tv, and she’s good to go.  Barely flinches.  Barely moves.  A cool cucumber.  She loves the stickers, choosing a toothbrush, choosing a flavor for her cleaning, the game room, the prizes, etc.  The whole experience, she savors.

S.  All I can say is over the past year, things have slowly gotten better.  I dreaded telling her that she even had an appt this week.  The day before my husband asked when we should tell her.  We thought about telling her in passing, as she was doing something fun.  At the end of a long day at the zoo, when they were cranky and tired, I told S in the car.  In passing.  There really wasn’t a good time for it.  And it was a bit quiet.  So I just told her, oh yeah…by the way…

You know something?  She was quiet for a second, and asked me, “I’m going tomorrow?  to get my teeth cleaned?”  I said yes.  And do you know what she said to me very non-chalantly?  ”I won’t cry, Mommy.  I’m going to get stickers, and Ariel toothbrush, and some prizes.  I’ll be happy.”  You can imagine my reaction.

S mentioned the appt on and off that night and the next morning.  She knew she was going to school late.  She knew she was going to miss part of Art.  That bothered her.  I thought going to the dentist, going to school late….everything out of routine would have upset her.

I was wrong again.  For the very first time, S didn’t shed a single tear at the dentist.  She sat by herself in the chair, and managed to do everything just fine.  The hygenist she gets now is awesome.  Just awesome.  She works fast and is calming.  She got her x-rays done and everything.  S went to school happy, told the admins in the office that she was coming from the dentist, and walked herself down the hallway to her classroom.

I don’t know when she got so big and matured!  Of course, we go back in a couple of weeks to fill 2 fillings……gas and novacaine.   We may be back at square one after that visit!

For now, until we get to that appt, I’m going to savor the fact that she has finally conquered her fear of the dentist!  yay!

language

M is looking for a pair of her slippers today.  Her feet were cold.  I hear from the other room, “I can’t find my slippers.  Oh, ssssssssssssssssugarball!”  Seriously, for a split second, I thought she was going to use profanity.  I started cracking up.  But then it occurred to me.  Where did she hear that?  How did she know to use it in that situation?  Where did she hear it?  The intonation was great, too.  Where did she hear it?

She doesn’t really remember, so she says.  I don’t really have any reason to not believe her.  I find it difficult that my 4y.old is learning these statements and language.  And really, where could she be hearing it from to learn?  What’s next?

M came home a few days ago saying a boy in her class wasn’t listening.  Almost everyday she comes home with something.  So I probe the story some more.  Apparently he was whirling his placemat around during snack.  After he was told to stop, he didn’t.  According to M, the aide took the placemat, said he was spoiled and threw it away.

I take the stories M comes home to tell with a grain of salt.  The way things actually go down and what she ends up telling me are not necessarily 2 different things, but a lot of details get told incompletely or some things are completely left out.  Other times, she just got it wrong.  I asked if maybe the aide told her friend that the placemat was spoiled or something had gotten spoiled.  She insisted no.  ”She told him he was spoiled.”  Still, I give this aide the benefit of the doubt.  M is so clear in her story.  The difference was that usually she is recounting her day.  She was pensive.  She didn’t think it was nice.  She asked me once what it meant, and I told her it was someone who always got their way and only wanted their way.  It wasn’t a nice thing to call someone that.  So she brought that out and asked about it.

I have no idea what really happened that day in the classroom.  I believe that we are all human.  Everyone might lose a moment and forget who their audience is.  I wrote it about it once here, when I was yelling at M for something.  They are little beings with big ears.  They pick up on everything.  Even if she doesn’t understand what is being said, she knows if it’s negative or not.

It was yet another reminder to be careful with these kids ears.  Even if we think they are not listening, they “hear” everything.

first communications

2 full weeks of school.  A few bumps, but we are getting through them.  It hasn’t been easy. but it’s been okay.  You know one very important thing that has helped us all?  The kids’ teachers.  Hands down.  This is some of the best communications we have ever had, especially right off the bat.

S’s teacher.  She’s new to the district, but she is great.  Enthusiastic.  experienced.  newly pregnant (we’ll get to that one later).  and always thinking.  I love that about her.  Notes are always going home to parents, not always newsletters.  FYI things.  reminders.  Her communication in particular to S…She was the one that asked if it was okay if S had a notebook that we could both write in to each other.  She emails, of course, but usually only first thing in the morning.  So this way it would be right in front of her.  When I asked for a phone conversation last week, she made a call during her prep period.  I know how important those breaks are when the kids are in specials, or her home time with her kids at night.  S’s Kindergarten teacher usually called around 5pm.  I told her teacher I would talk when it was most convenient to her because I could appreciate her need for prep or home.  Her response, “It’s my job to make sure we communicate and help S together.”  I don’t know if she is spewing out all the right things, but she has made it obvious that she cares.  She cares about S, the class, and the parent involvement.

M’s teacher sends home a weekly newsletter!  Ok that’s seriously new.  monthly yes.  weekly no.  But it has just details of things they are learning.  And better yet, WHY they are learning it.  I loved this program when S was in it.  They said it has changed, but they are still going with the why behind it.  The class really is like any other nursery or 4s class out there.  But there is so much meaning behind each piece that they do.  And maybe other teachers do it well, but we are not always thinking about how it’s important and why.  They just go out and do it.  And as a parent, it makes a huge difference in how I am perceiving M’s PreK education.

I feel good with the kids’ placement this year.  They are both adjusting to it all still, but they are getting there.

Sunday nights

We are heading into the 3rd week of school.  the 2nd full week coming.  And yet again, even though we had a great weekend, the transition to bedtime for Monday continues to be one with angst.

We really had a fun weekend.  My husband came home early enough on Friday night, and we took the kids out to dinner.  They had a great time.  We were woken in the middle of the night by M, who threw up all over her bed.  After cleaning it all up, and changing her sheets and giving her new pillows and blankets, she slept all night and later into the morning.  She seemed fine by Saturday morning.  We gave her a light breakfast, and we went apple picking with good friends of ours.

The girls had a ball with the 2y old son of our friend.  They were so excited to be with him, and tried to include him in everything.  And he was so excited to be with them.  He just followed their every moves.  You could tell his mom and dad were happy about it because he didn’t fight them when it was time to eat, go to the bathroom, anything.  He just followed the girls.  It was honestly a great day for the adults and the kids.  Exhausting, but great.  The fall festival was up at the orchard.  So bounce houses, corn mazes, apple picking, pony rides, feeding the animals, everything was up and running.  And so were the kids.  We got home late and had a relaxing evening.  Bedtime was no issue.  Everyone was tired.

Today, both girls were a little whiny, especially M.  But even S had some troubles with transitions today.  They got over them quickly for the most part for awhile.  I went out to brunch with a friend I hadn’t seen in years.  S and her son are 2 weeks apart.  She was one of the first mommy friends I made, when S was 7 weeks old.  She moved when the kids were 15 months, and came back to the area when they were 3.  But with our busy schedules, younger babies, etc. we could never get together.  With full day school, forget it.  We decided it best to just meet for brunch.

My husband took the kids out to the park to play.  They had a great time.  After lunch, he took them swimming at the YMCA while I ran some errands.  By dinnertime, they were hungry, cranky, and tired. BAD combination.  The only thing missing is either being too hot or too cold!  You parents know what I’m talking about!   Each step after dinner was a problem for S.  She wanted to go outside and play after dinner.  As soon as she went, she tripped on the deck and scraped her leg.  Then she didn’t want to play.  She didn’t want to stay inside by herself.  Then she wanted to play catch, but then she didn’t.  When it was time to go upstairs, she didn’t want to shower.  Then she realized that it was going to be Monday.  ”I don’t want to go to school.  I don’t like school.”  on and on.

In the end, as much as she stalled, she was better than she has been in years passed.  Yet we still go through it.  No matter how great the week is that we got through, or how terrible or wonderful the weekend was, Sunday night is a transition night.  For all of us.  And it brings on lots of whining, some tears, and resistance.  Thankfully, sleep comes easy to me on Sunday nights!!!  Because I’m tired of hearing it!  Bring it on Monday!

1st 2 days=1st week of school

So there we have it.  The first two days of school are done, and that, my friends, is the first week of school.  They were on for 2 days.  Now off for 2 days for the Jewish holiday.  I was a nervous wreck over the Labor Day weekend worrying about how the first few days were going to go.  M was starting a new school.  S, a new grade and a full day.  I really couldn’t have asked for a smoother start.  Maybe next week will be different when we go a full 5 straight days.  But I will take this mini celebration for whatever it is worth.

My mom came to stay with us for a few days while all of us were figuring out our schedule.  S had to be at school by 8:25am.  As comes every year for the first day/week of school, parking around the school is a nightmare.  I figured the girls should be eating breakfast by 7:30am and we should be firmly out the door by 8:05am.  I haven’t had a morning drop off in elementary school…well ever! just the pre-school that the kids spent their first 2 years in.  That was a 9am drop off!

I left M at home with my mom to lounge around.  S was fine the night before school.  Fine the morning of.  I wonder if she really KNEW or realized that she was going to school.  I felt like I was living someone else’s life.  Where were the tears?  Where was the whining?  Where was the I don’t want to go to school talk?  S gave me a funny look when we were getting dressed and headed downstairs, but no complaints.  She wasn’t particularly hungry, but I made her eat whatever she could.  As she saw me packing her lunch, with round eyes, she asked, “Am I going to school today??!!”  I smiled big and said, “You sure are!”  very quiet response.

Still, S was out the door and okay getting into the car.  She looked around and didn’t see her sister.  The quick ride to school was all about why M wasn’t coming, why didn’t she go to school.  The thought that they wouldn’t be on the same schedule never occurred to S.  They have never been on the same schedule!  But then again, they have never been in the same school together before.

The walk from the car to school, S was getting more and more tense.  But still no tears and no big fight.  No hair pulling.  no kicking and screaming.  No scratching her face or neck.  Just tense.

The morning PreK, 1st grade and 2nd grade were all on the black top lining up. The Kindergarten was just around the corner.  3 sections of PreK.  5 sections of 1st.  5 sections of 2nd.  Parents.  Cameras.  Kids crying.  Kids just waiting.  Some kids playing on the side.  strollers.  younger siblings.  It was pure mayhem.  The teachers took awhile to come out.  Then they went through the line introducing themselves to kids and parents.  Oh……it took 30 min for S’s class to finally make the walk into the school.  Waiting is the worst part for S.  She didn’t look comfortable, but neither did she look phased.  She just looked…..well, bored and hot.  The sun was beaming down on all of us.  There are really only so many pictures you can take of them in line!  Although I won’t complain.  This is the very first year that I can take pictures of S’s first day of school because she is usually hysterically crying on the way!

It was a lot to take in, for me.  I had all this pent up anxiety myself about how things would go.  And goodness, did S surprise me this year.  Really, she did.  But I had no place to put all this extra “stuff” of mine!

The 2nd day, she made a quiet walk from the car to the blacktop and lined up.  She said hi to her friends as they came.  She said hi to friends that were in her class last year that were heading to different lines.  They were in a lot faster today.  She turned to look at me, and caught the teary faces of a couple of her classmates.  ”Bye mom.  I won’t cry.  I like being happy.”  I had to blink back my own tears.

I didn’t worry too much about M’s transition.  She makes friends quite easily, and she took to her teachers and new friends right away.  Still, you never know sometimes.  M didn’t have to be at school until 12:15pm.  Even if we leave around 12:05 or a little after, we make it with plenty of time.  At 11:59am, I looked around.  M was standing next to the door, socks and new Ariel light up sneakers on, backpack on, waiting for me.  I told her we had some time.  ”Mom, but we don’t want to be late, do we?  It’s the first day.  We shouldn’t be late.”   I had no response.  I grabbed my keys and bag, and out we went.  When the doors opened, she never looked back at me once.  Climbed the steps and ran in to line up.  It was the same thing today.

When both kids came out, they were a bit tired, very thirsty, but happy.  Both of them.  They chatted about all the exciting things they did that day.  Both went to the library today.  M was very detailed for the first time about a Big Book they read today.  Franklin Goes to School.  Very exciting stuff.  S was excited that they went to Art on the first day and to the Library on the 2nd day.  And now S wants to take the bus.  We aren’t far enough away to qualify for bus services, but she wants to take it!

If it has to be any way, this is the start I would want for both of them.  Excited about school.  Happy that they are going.  Happy and eager to learn and meet new friends.  Definitely not the crying route or having to be peeled off my leg.  And shame on me for even assuming the worst.  Days like this week, I am so grateful for maturity, for the giant leap forward they both took.  I actually miss them both during the afternoon!  I am so used to having some time with S and M each.  And we are all happy to be together at 3:15pm.  I will have no complaints about this week on anything.  And I just pray this continues as they get used to it all!

first day

AWESOME first day! more to post tomorrow.  But they really both rocked it! yay!

First day prep jitters

I have some other posts to put out about the rest of the summer.  But I here I am, 11 hours away from a first day of school drop off.  Firsts in our house are not usually easy.  The first day of school.  Well.  For a couple of us seems exciting and doesn’t faze.  For a couple of us, it’s mass jitters.

I’m hoping to never repeat last year’s events with S pulling her own hair out of her head and scratching at herself in a massive meltdown in her anxiety about starting Kindergarten.  So far, this is probably the best August I have seen S have since she started exhibiting her anxious behaviors a few years back.  It’s still there, but more manageable.  Transitions have been getting harder, S is eating less than she normally does, teary at bedtime.  In general, she’s more inflexible.  The tantrums aren’t time stopping.  She can get herself out of those moods, too.

S’s SLP, Step, told us to make a 2 week calendar.  We should make it colorful, make pictures, and really show what we would be doing over the weekend, leading up to the first day of school.  I put on birthday parties that she was excited about.  There was a fun day in the city planned.  Trips to get ice cream at her favorite shops.  Bike Rides and tennis at the tennis courts.  My mother came today to visit.  All things S and M are both excited about.  Of course, I put on there for Tuesday (tomorrow), the first day of school.  I also put on a trip for Slurpies at 7-11 when school is out.  So we have something to look forward to.

We’ve had a wonderfully relaxing Labor Day Weekend.  We chose to do very fun activities that we knew they would enjoy.  We saw a bunch of friends at the local town’s church Italian Festival.  They ate, played games, went on rides with their friends.  They were so excited. We spend Saturday in Central Park, just walking around, enjoying the weather.  Today, we went up to Northern Jersey to do some shopping and had lunch with my mom.  All the time in between was spent lounging at home, playing games, just relaxing.  My husband really needed the downtime, too.  Unfortunately, he was getting antsy with all the relaxation.  He kept trying to figure out what we had to do next.  Poor guy. He’s always on the go.

We got the first day supplies ready today.  Both girls helped packed their backpacks.  They decided what they wanted to bring for snack.  S, who is staying for lunch for the first time EVER, decided what she wanted me to pack her.  She practiced opening her lunch box, too.  For whatever reason, it wasn’t easy for her little fingers.   But she seemed upbeat.  We chose our first day of school clothes for both kids.

My husband read to S and put her to bed.  I expected tears and all kinds of questions.  We got nothing.  She wasn’t perky and upbeat, but she wasn’t wallowing and tearful, either.  She seemed right down the middle.  I don’t know if she realizes we are off to school in the morning.  Nor do I know if she knows that my husband goes back to work tomorrow.

I have butterflies in my stomach.  I am doing my best to stay upbeat and lowkey so we are able to just head on out tomorrow with minimal drama.

I’ll update back after we find out how it all goes down tomorrow. for both!